


Happy to announce

by tamana



Series: The one where JJ accidentally knocks Yuri up [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Jean-Jacques Leroy, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Loyal Friend Otabek, M/M, Mpreg, No seriously we all need an Otabek in our lives, Omega Yuri Plisetsky, and handwaving of science, there's a lot of coughing and guilty shifting in seats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-13 23:38:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11770848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamana/pseuds/tamana
Summary: It’s embarrassing, but the most important thing to come out of Yuri’s life thus far happens because –1. JJ is a fucking pervert;2. JJ is a thoroughly convincing pervert;and, most significantly,3. Yuri – very stupidly, at least by his accounting, and through a series of events he refuses to touch on right at the moment – has on multiple occasions allowed himself to be a willing accomplice in JJ’s dumb-assery.





	Happy to announce

**Author's Note:**

> There's not a lot in the way of ABO dynamics/smuttishness going on here, which is what I was really hoping to accomplish when I sat down and started writing this, but hopefully the next one will have more of that. :)

It’s embarrassing, but the most important thing to come out of Yuri’s life thus far happens because –

  1. JJ is a fucking pervert;
  2. JJ is a thoroughly convincing pervert;
     and, most significantly, 
  3. Yuri – very stupidly, at least by his accounting, and through a series of events he refuses to touch on right at the moment – has on multiple occasions allowed himself to be a willing accomplice in JJ’s dumb-assery.



 

What it comes down to is that it’s really both JJ and Yuri’s fault, and possibly the scientific community’s fault, but that’s neither here nor there, not really.

 

 

 

It's beginning to get a bit warm in the doctor’s office, Yuri thinks and crushes the urge to squirm in his seat as the doctor looks at him, patiently waiting for him to respond.

“I don’t understand.”

The doctor discreetly flicks her eyes to Otabek where he’s sitting beside Yuri and coughs delicately.

Not for the first time, he curses Otabek for being sweet enough to drive him to the doctor’s office when JJ got called back to the hospital for an emergency.

“You’re pregnant, Mr. Plisetsky.”

Yuri narrows his eyes at her.

“I’m pregnant,” he repeats flatly and glares at her harder, daring her to confirm it.

“Yes, I know it can be diffic-“

“That’s impossible.”

Again, she flicks an eye to Otabek and leans back into her seat as she recounts the symptoms Yuri had complained of.

“Mr. Plisetsky, you’ve been excessively tired, you’ve been feeling nauseous, and have vomited a couple of times, as you said.”

He feels a pounding slowly in his temples, and he impatiently nods. “And like you said, it could be from any number of things.”

“That is correct. All those are pretty non-specific symptoms, which is why we did a couple of tests, and one of the tests we did is a pregnancy test." She looks back at Yuri calmly. "Which came back positive.”

Yuri opens his mouth to tries to protest, and the doctor raises a hand to let her finish.

“It came back positive twice.” She looks directly at him, and he sees in the careful way she keeps her voice and gaze steady that he isn’t going to like what she’s about to say. “In the urine test and then in blood test.”

Yuri’s mouth clicks shut.

“I don’t understand-“

The doctor nods patiently and sighs, in a way that makes Yuri suspect she’s had plenty of similar conversations.

“You’ve told me you’ve been regularly sexually active, on the receiving end of penetrative intercourse, with no use of barrier contraception.” Yuri feels himself redden despite himself and resists the urge to ask her to stop talking. There are some things Otabek doesn’t need to know about him and JJ. “I know you’re on the pill, but pregnancy does remain a possibility in this scenario. A small possibility, yes, but it’s there.”

She still isn’t making sense, and Yuri is beginning to feel frustration rise up his throat, making him clench his teeth.

“You say that,” he tries to say evenly. By the way Otabek turns to him and lays a hand on his arm, he suspects he’s not very successful. “But I’ve been on those newer generation contraceptive pills, and they’re supposed to be completely effective.”

In front of him, he sees the doctor’s face turn the slightest bit pitying, and he feels the last threads of his control fray and snap. “Don’t look at me like that. The goddamn packet insert says so, alright? It had all these numbers, and the goddamn ad with the lady in the garden that's everywhere – they said it was fucking failsafe, even off heat suppressants!”

He feels the throbbing pressure build behind his eyes, his throat closing convulsively as he tries to suck in air. He's been feeling off for weeks, and JJ had been worried, off-kilter, and of the many possibilities they had discussed before coming in for the doctor's visit, this is just not something they had prepared for.

“That’s the thing about these newer drugs.” He watches as the doctor frowns and closes her eyes for a second, as if steeling herself to bring more bad news. _Fucking awesome._ “They’re effective as far as we know from clinical research. Research that was done on a carefully selected population, composed of people who meet certain health criteria and who are motivated to take the drug as it should be ideally taken.”

Beside him, he can sense Otabek sitting perfectly still in his seat, at attention, absorbing everything patiently, with all the composure Yuri is very rapidly running out of.

“But they’ve really only been on the market for a short time, and it takes a while before we truly get to see how effective they are in everyday practical use. The unfortunate truth is, it’s a daily pill, and in the real world, sometimes people miss doses, or they take them at the wrong time –”

Okay, no. This is where he gets to correct her.

“I don’t miss doses,” he grits out.

And it’s the truth.

It’s part of his daily routine – JJ wakes him up with coffee and perfectly seasoned egg white omelet, he takes the pill, then he demonstrates his gratitude with a truly spectacular blow job. On less busy days, he’ll even tug on JJ’s tie, pull it free and watch the dopey smile on JJ’s face turn loose and wicked as he spreads himself out on the table JJ meticulously lays out every morning, opens himself up under JJ’s heated gaze, fingers tugging himself wide open. JJ calls it a breakfast for kings, and –

He's getting side-tracked. The point remains, however. His blister pack is ripped perfectly to the day. He knows he hasn’t missed a dose since he first started taking the pill months ago.

The doctor looks at him patiently. “Alright. I hear you. You take the pill as prescribed. But going back to the limitations of research,” here she shrugs a bit helplessly, “sometimes people’s bodies and their individual chemistries just don’t metabolize the drug as it should.”

Yuri, not for the first time by a mile, feels the urge to fling his chair across the room. He’s pretty sure he could even manage it. It’s a fairly small room. 

“My metabolism is perfect,” he snarls.

This is also, in fact, true, as Mila would grudgingly attest to after their many buffet binges.

The doctor shakes her head. “I don’t mean calorie metabolism – it’s more how your gut, your liver, and your particular habits come together to metabolize the drug in your body, and certain habits might affect the way your liver is able to metabolize it.

Yuri feels a bit lightheaded.

“My liver? You said my liver is fine –”

“It is, your liver tests came back picture perfect.”  

“Then I don’t understand,” he snaps. “I’ve been taking the pills perfectly, my liver is fine, so what the fuck is going on –”

The doctor shifts and coughs, again, and Yuri feels his hands curl into fists in his lap. He feels Otabek lay a hand on his fist, comforting, and that is the one thing that keeps him from jumping across the table and shaking the doctor to stop her from coughing and evading the subject.

“If there’s something you should be telling me, Doctor, I would really like to know –”

Across them, the doctor tries and fails to hide a wince.

“Well,” she takes a steadying breath and meets his eyes. “There’s been some preliminary data to suggest, that is to say that –” she shifts again and glances at Otabek. “Well, it has come to light that the drug is not metabolized properly to its active form in certain people who ingest particular substances.”

Yuri frowns, thinking. “Do you mean illegal drugs? I don’t do that kind of stuff. That isn’t my preferred vice, you know that.”

She coughs and rubs at the back of her neck, grimacing. “Ah, yes. I don’t mean recreational drugs.”

“Well I don’t smoke, and I don’t drink alcohol. You know this. I am the goddamn picture of perfect health, so –"

She coughs hurriedly. “Yes. Quite. All true.” For a second, she looks down at the stack of folders on her desk miserably, before she straightens in her seat and looks up, gaze turning serious. “Do you perform oral sex, Mr. Plisetsky?”

That makes him pause.

And cough a bit delicately.  

“You know I do. It should be in my chart.”

The doctor nods. “And when you do, Mr. Plisetsky, do you swallow your partner’s ejaculate?

It’s his turn to shift in his seat. He refuses to look at Otabek.

He clears his throat.

“Yes. Once or twice.”

This is, in actual fact, not true.

He swallows every fucking time.

For a number of reasons, chiefest of which is that 1) JJ always looks ever so pleased when he does; 2) Yuri, very secretly, takes satisfaction in getting JJ to smile, even though it has to be admitted that it takes very little to make JJ to smile if your name is Yuri; and 3) Even more secretly, although he suspects JJ has already caught on to it, because JJ makes it his business to be an expert on things that Yuri likes and dislikes, Yuri just plain likes the feeling of JJ coming down his throat, okay? It isn’t that unusual. Or so he heard. (Mostly from JJ.)

He coughs, a bit guiltily.

At this point, the only consolation available to him is that every ounce of his discomfort is now matched equally by the doctor’s.

“And how frequently, exactly, would you say you, uh, perform oral sex on your partner and swallow?”

This is getting ridiculous.

“I fail to see how this –”

“You’ll see in time, Mr. Plisetsky.” In front of him, he thinks he sees the doctor’s eye begin to twitch. “Would you say that it is a daily occurrence?”

“Almost.” He shifts guiltily. “Daily.” He looks at the ceiling and studiously ignores Otabek beside him. “Maybe more.”   

“Have you ever swallowed semen within an hour of ingesting the pill?”

 _What the fuck_ , he thinks.

“What the fuck,” he breathes out.

“I ask this, Mr. Plisetsky, because there is now data to suggest that a particular enzyme in semen, when ingested in enough quantities, and within a certain time of ingesting the pill, can interfere with the absorption of the drug in the gut. As you might imagine, this can and does interfere with its effectivity.” She looks up from the stack of papers and smiles weakly at Yuri.

Beside him, Otabek coughs.

_Mother fuck._

He is going to murder JJ.

 

 

 

Later, as Otabek settles behind the driver’s wheel, Yuri turns to him and very seriously says, “We’re telling him I missed a couple of doses.”

Otabek stills in his seat and says nothing, lifting an eyebrow patiently in response.

“There’s no way we’re telling him he knocked me up through oral sex.”

He can see the beginnings of a smile at the corner of Otabek’s mouth, and he groans.

“You don’t understand, Beka. He’s going to call his come super jizz or something equally retarded.”

He closes his eyes, because the thought of it honestly physically pains him.

Beside him, he hears Otabek make a noise and he tiredly shushes him. “I love the guy, Beka, but you know he will.”

Otabek reaches over and ruffles his hair. “He might, but not in front of the baby. He's not that sort of guy.”

He laughs, despite himself. “You’re a loyal friend, Beka.”

He had felt a bit drained, leaving the doctor’s office, but as the news settles in him, sitting in the car, about to go home to JJ, he begins to feel a new energy spark inside him.

He takes out his phone and sees a ridiculous number of missed calls.

“You’ll make a great godfather,” he says a bit absently, as he goes through his messages.

> _How did it go with the doctor?_
> 
> _Babe?  
>  _
> 
> _D:_
> 
> _Cupcake, pls call me when you get out of the clinic._
> 
> _Darling?_
> 
> _Sugarplum?_
> 
> _Light of my life?_
> 
> _Buttercup_
> 
> _I can go all day, my love._

There’s a couple more, but he has to look up when Otabek flicks him on the nose. “You’ll make a great dad, Yura.”

Absurdly, his eyes get a little misty at that, and he clears his throat. Otabek holds his gaze. “So will JJ. You’ll both be great.” He squeezes Yuri’s hand gently and turns back to the front of the car. “Mila will be there for you, I'm sure, and so will I. Always. But even without us, I know you’ll be great.”

Yuri smiles then, a bit watery. Distantly, he hears the purr of the engine starting around them, and he brings his phone up and clicks on speed dial.

It answers on the first ring.

“Darling,” there’s a world of relief in that one word, and he’s sorry to cut JJ off, but he needs to say it now, he thinks, or he might never find the courage –

“Hey asshole –” and if his voice starts a bit shaky, a bit unsure, what the hell, that’s parenthood in a nutshell, right? “What are your thoughts on fatherhood?”

**Author's Note:**

> Life has been very busy lately, I've just started working, am new in the workplace and very often encounter situations that make me uncomfortably aware of how new and dumb I am. As ever, life goes on and so will I. :D :D :D  
> I'm currently experiencing really bad writer's block for my other stories, and massively stressed out so I'm hoping writing this tiny silly thing will help. Hopefully this improves someone's day out there too.  
> Also this is unedited, so if anyone spots mistakes, let me know!


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